Weekends Count Magazine - Helping you maximize your weekends through travel and DIY experiences.: Parenting

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How to Handle the Stress of Being a Caregiver for Your Aging Parents

While we mostly focus on travel and homeschooling on this blog, one of the biggest challenges we have faced as a family is serving as caregivers for aging parents. Charlotte Canion, author of You Have to Laugh to Keep from Crying: How to Parent Your Parents, offers her insights on how to cope with the stress of being a caregiver and seeing the health of your parents decline.

Why did you write this book?

I was the caregiver for a father-in-law with dementia, a mother with Alzheimer’s and a father with Parkinson’s – all at the same time. My journey started over ten years ago and I was unable to find usable written information about aging diseases, information that was available was written by doctors and read like a medical textbook in a foreign language. I kept a journal and knew at that time, I was going to write a book. My passion was and still is to help adult children cope with the stress that goes along with caring for a parent or aging loved one. I share down-to-earth advice on how to manage everything from day-to-day tasks to making long-term decisions on the right type of care for their elderly loved ones.

How does remembering to laugh help in dealing with aging parents?

Laughter creates endorphins and doctors have proven that laughter has helped even those with cancer. I tried to find the humor in every situation and that helped to heal even the toughest of problems. Everyone wants to be happy and laughter is the key to opening the doors to euphoric feelings. If you read my book you will discover that my dad, who was a difficult man, had done some very bad things in his life. Forgiveness was a big part of my story and the healing came through laughter. Laughter was the saving grace in many situations with all my parents.

What does “Parenting Your Parents” mean?

WOW! You ask the big question, because the answer is different for many people. I wrote my book with LOVE – RESPECT – PATIENCE – FORGIVENESS. My parents brought me into this world and without them I would not be here. I felt the obligation to step up and do whatever needed to be done. All in the context of giving back what they had done for me as a child. I was well fed, had a roof over my head and I got an education. I retired early in order to be ready for whatever was coming next. A little known fact is nine out of ten caregivers are a female.

I came up with Four Golden Rules:

You have to LOVE unconditionally, (you may not like some of their actions or comments) but you must Love them.

RESPECT is what we have learned from childhood and the world would be a better place, if we would respect each other - especially our parents. Our parents tried to do their best and many times failing, but it is within our power to show the respect that they need at this point in their lives.

PATIENCE is something we must practice every day. As a caregiver I had to have patience with my parents for who, what, and where they were at any given time of the day. I also had to have patience with myself for the feelings I would go through. Caregivers are human, and they need to take care of themselves first, because if the caregiver got sick, who will take care of their parents? We need to vent; we may need to cry, and we may even want to scream. But we never want the loved one to feel they caused those feelings. The diseases that are attacking our parents or loved ones are out of their control, and I feel there is enough confusion in their minds, without my adding to their confused state of mind. I save my crying and venting outside, where they cannot hear me. This will create a calming and more productive environment.

FORGIVENESS is the hardest. Many adult children carry around feelings that need to be forgiven. Many parents have a hard time forgiving their children of something that may have happened decades ago. I have a favorite saying: Unforgiveness is an Anchor – Forgiveness is Freedom. As I said earlier, my father was not a model father, and he had done things that most people could never forgive. In my book I tell the “FORGIVENESS STORY”, and I share this story at churches and many groups. The response is amazing, and people tell me that they have been estranged from a family member for decades. I give them hope! I was the only one who could be my dad’s caregiver.

Remember all you will have left are memories once your loved ones are gone; create cherished memories now!

How can members of the Sandwich Generation manage caring for aging parents and their own children?

Since families are having children later in life these days, it is probably more conceivable that the seniors are older, and thus the chance of needing care becomes an issue. I have seen where couples have their retired parents move closer to them, so they can help out when needed. I have also seen where a single senior came into the home and to help with the children. This is really a great idea, as nowadays grandparents and grand-children have very little time together. One hundred years ago families lived together, and the children were influenced by the grandparent(s). This was and is a good thing. In today’s society, both parents work and that leaves the children with strangers. Some of the young families with elderly parents have them move into a home next door or on the same street. In today's society there are many communities of Retirement Villages, and these facilities provide great activities, medical care, and individual living units. Can the Sandwich Generation manage caring for aging parents and care for their own children? YES! Every family member can help as a team. My parents loved to see grandchildren and great grandchildren; they could see their legacy live on. There are many organizations that can come in during the day and help the parent with daily needs. It becomes the responsibility of the adult children to be smart as to when it is time for a facility to handle the really tough cases of parenting parents. That is the time you can shower all the love and attention on the aging parent and not have to worry about the day to day normal needs.

How can our readers find out more about you?

Website: www.HowToParentYourParents.net
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ParentYourParents

Charlotte is a Master Gardener and a Texas Super Star Specialist (Gardening Book to come out this spring, MeMom and Friends Gardening Tips. Through Skype interviews, she has become known all over the world. She has been published through a variety of articles, both national and international. She was recognized by the Spirited Women’s Magazine, Alzheimer’s Association, Hospice Plus, EWTN radio, KDKR radio, CUTV, Texas Authors Radio, Preferred Radio, Decatur Library Garden Series Podcast and Keynote Speaker, The Christian Entrepreneurs, Senior Focus, Timeless Family, Women of Worth, National Publicity Summit n New York and many others. You can also find her book in half a dozen libraries. Charlotte’s proudest accomplishment is her twenty grand-children.

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

This week,

Have a great week and plan for the weekend!

Sincerely,

The @WeekendsCount Family!

About Weekends Count - Weekends Count is a Millennial Family Travel, Fun, Food and Activities blog based in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas. We review hotels, travel and household items, and millennial family experiences!

Authors - Jennifer and Tony Edwards

Here's a link to our press kit/media kit - http://www.weekendscount.com/p/our-media-kit.html

Mailing Address: 1030 East Highway 377 Suite 110; Box #145; Granbury TX 76048
Phone Number - 817-382-8475

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Remember to Check Out Our Book - Family Travel Hacks and Tips for Any Budget!

Learn How To Talk With Your Kids About God with Author Natasha Crain!

Easter is right around the corner and if your little one is like our little one, your family will definitely experience a wealth of questions about Easter, and God, and church. Our family wants YOUR FAMILY to be prepared and we recommend a book for you - Talking To Your Kids About God. This book is written by Natasha Crain and it is focused on 30 key conversations that parents must have with their children.

In fact, this would be a great checklist for a family to have these 30 weekly conversations at the beginning of a year. What a neat way to introduce elements of God and Christianity to your children.

Remember to check out the review of Talking To Your Kids About God by Natasha Crain and order your copies!

A Note from the Weekends Count Dad
As a college professor, I feel some of my peers may not view Christianity as intellectual. While I'm still new to apologetics, I feel more confident in having conversations about faith at work and showcasing how faith and reason can work together. As a parent, I feel more comfortable talking with my daughter about evidence of God's creation in nature. As far as responding to skeptics, I would mention that there is evidence of God as the creator of the universe all around us even if they disagree with my interpretation of the evidence.

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

Have a great week and plan for the weekend!

Order our new book!

About Weekends Count - Weekends Count is a Millennial Family Travel, Fun, Food and Activities blog based in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas. We review hotels, travel and household items, and millennial family experiences!

Authors - Jennifer and Tony Edwards

Here's a link to our press kit/media kit - http://www.weekendscount.com/p/our-media-kit.html

Mailing Address: 1030 East Highway 377 Suite 110; Box #145; Granbury TX 76048
Phone Number - 817-382-8475

Send us an Email! We are PR friendly! - weekendscount@gmail.com
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Simple Ways to Make Your Weekends Count

Looking for fun family-friendly weekend activities?

Look no further as we've compiled a list with links to some of our favorite bloggers!

1. Volunteer as a family - Leigh Shulman - yTravel Blog

2. Spend quality time with your spouse - Jessica - Fantabulosity

3. Stay at a Texas resort - Amy Williams - Waco Moms Blog

4. Visit a new area in Texas - Cheryl Black - Austin Moms Blog

5. Establish a Saturday morning routine - Jessica Beer - Moms Without Answers

6. Create weekend traditions - Trish Mirchandani - The Happiest Home

7. Earn extra money - Anna - And Then We Saved

8. Sell things around the house that you don't need anymore - Michelle - Making Sense of Cents

9. Take your kids to a free DIY workshop at Lowe's, Home Depot, or Michaels or cooking class at Williams-Sonoma - Trent Hamm - The Simple Dollar

10. Visit a public library - Cameron Huddleston - Kiplinger

11. Have a picnic in the park - Jason Topp - WiseBread

12. Watch a minor league baseball game - Cynthia Hochswender - Parents

13. Research genealogy or create a family tree - All Pro Dad

14. Declutter a room - Sarah Mueller - Early Bird Mom

15. Have a family game night - Nedra McDaniel - Adventure Mom

What are you favorite ways to make your weekend count?

Let us know in the comments!

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

This week,

Have a great week and plan for the weekend!

Five Reasons Why YOU Need a Variety of Lightening Cable Sizes

As a parent, we are modern day superheroes for our families. We can navigate driving in the rain, protecting our families from storms, and also from waking our children with a bright light when we need to find our cell phone charging cables in the dark.

There are certain situations when parents REALLY need to find cell phone charging cords in the dark. These situations can include...

1 - Charging your cell phones in a hotel without waking the entire room.

2 - Finding the charging cable in your purse (when plugged into a mobile charger)

3 - Leaving for a trip early in the morning and finding those last minute items before departing in the shuttle.

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

Also, there are MULTIPLE reasons WHY you should have a variety of charging cord sizes!

1 - You can stretch your 6-foot cord to the back of the car to meet the charging needs of your children.

2 - You can use a 1-foot cord to charge devices in your purse without having a cord dangling from your bag!

3 - You can use a 3-4 foot cord to charge devices in your travel (or everyday backpack).

4 - You can charge items in your office on your desk (while having the 6 foot cord extend to the wall.

5 - You can always have a 1, 3/4, 6 foot cord ready-to-go for all of your parenting adventures, whether day-to-day or seasonal vacations!

We recommend the Aimus [3-Pack] Lightning Cable with LED Light (Black) as a MUST HAVE for travelers! http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B074DQYFK7

Have a great week and plan for the weekend!

About Weekends Count - Weekends Count is a Millennial Family Travel, Fun, Food and Activities blog based in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas. We review hotels, travel and household items, and millennial family experiences!

Authors - Jennifer and Tony Edwards

Here's a link to our press kit/media kit - http://www.weekendscount.com/p/our-media-kit.html

Mailing Address: 1030 East Highway 377 Suite 110; Box #145; Granbury TX 76048
Phone Number - 817-382-8475

Send us an Email! We are PR friendly! - weekendscount@gmail.com
Watch Our Videos on YouTube! - http://www.youtube.com/weekendscount/
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Your Resilient Child: Parenting that Builds Confidence and Grit

By Patty Wipfler and Tosha Schore, Hand in Hand Parenting

Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -

Even today many of us think that building resilience and grit in our children requires the use of harshness. It’s not that we want to scare them or hurt them or worry them. We just don’t know how else to get from the screaming, tantruming child to the strong, confident one. The truth is that a crying or upset child is not weak or broken. He is brilliant - using his body’s natural ability to heal from upset to regain access to his thinking brain that will guide him well. It’s just that we adults are so uncomfortable with big loud feelings that we get in the way of success!

Children who seem to lack confidence or resilience know how to gain those qualities, but they need our support to make it happen. Setting Limits by offering them expectations, and then stopping to really listen to any feelings that come up around that limit is a great way to escort a scared child towards confidence. We call this willingness to hear how a child is feeling when they are upset “Staylistening.” Because separation is such a common struggle for children of all ages, it is often the perfect place to help a scared child gain confidence.

TACKLING SEPARATION FEARS USING LISTENING TOOLS

The first step in moving towards confident separations is to plan for emotional ones. You’re ready to be an agent of change when you’ve anticipated the upset that is surely coming.

Second, understand that your child’s upsets reflect underlying fear, not a deliberate desire to ruin your plans. Think about where your child’s fears might come from. If your son clings tightly to you at bedtime, consider what earlier separations he might be recalling. Has the daughter who won’t participate in that gymnastics class she wanted so badly had difficulties in groups of children before? You may be able to identify a few of the hard times that could be contributing to your child’s separation fears. But don’t worry if you can’t think of anything. He can shed his fears without either of you knowing their origin.

The third step in helping your child through separation struggles is to address your own fears and worries. As your child shows how threatened he feels, your own feelings can be triggered so that you become unsure of his safety, too! Your worries will be transmitted to him without a word.

Things will go better when you get the support you need to release those feelings. Remember how you felt leaving your crying child to get to work on time? Or how it felt moving your child from a crib to a “big kid” bed? Do you remember longing for your own mom? Your dad? Listening Partnerships work well for identifying and venting feelings from memories like these.

In the throes of a difficult separation, Setting Limits and Staylistening are your go-to tools. You’ll want to let your child know ahead of time that a separation is coming up. He needs to know where you are going, when you’re coming back, and who will stay with him. If he begins crying at this news, Staylisten. He’s using the healing process already.

Here’s a story from our new book Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Challenges that shows you what it can look like. This mom took a broad perspective on her son’s separation issues, chose to set a limit and Staylisten, and watched big new doors open for him.

When my son was in sixth grade, he was still too frightened to go on sleepovers. I didn’t want to push him to do something he wasn’t ready for, but all his friends were sleeping at each other’s houses, and I sensed that my son really wanted to as well. I felt that his fears were holding him back. After sharing my feelings about this issue several times with a Listening Partner, I decided that I was ready to help my son.

I had gone to overnight camp myself when I was young, and I wanted my son to begin going to the same camp. I knew he’d love it, and I’d heard that one of his close friends was also going. I knew that if I set a limit here, I’d need to Staylisten, and this would move him into a more rational and relaxed space. One day, the two of us were home alone and I said to my son, “I’ve decided I’d like you to go to sleepaway camp this summer. The session that fits with our schedule is full, but I put you on the waitlist.” I knew that he would be upset by this proposition, but I didn’t realize just how scared he was! He began trembling. He begged me not to send him. He told me that he couldn’t be away from me for that long—that he would die! At first I was taken aback by the rush of emotion and the intensity of my son’s words. But I quickly realized that this limit was important.

His upset and trembling continued for a good hour. I listened. Then he calmed down and asked, “Do you think I’ll like it?” He was still hesitant, but he had shed enough fear that he could see the possibility that my decision to send him to camp was a good one. We talked for a while, and then moved on to other things. The next day I heard my son say to his brother, “I’m going to sleepaway camp this summer! Well, if there’s space. I’m on the waitlist.” He was proud. And then he turned to me and asked if he could spend the night at a friend’s house that same night. While I remained calm, inside I was bursting with excitement at my son’s newfound freedom. “Absolutely! Why don’t you give him a call and see if tonight works.” Since that day, my son has been sleeping at friends’ houses regularly. And that summer he had the time of his life at camp. His first words off the bus when he got home? “Can I go to Session Three next summer? It’s longer!”

Want to help your child build confidence? Hold out reasonable expectations. Listen to his fears. Get the support you need to address your own worries. You’ll be amazed at how quickly things can change!

You can learn more about the authors and their new book, Listen: Five Simple Tools to
Meet Your Everyday Challenges, on the Hand in Hand Parenting website.

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

This week,

Have a great week and plan for the weekend!

Four Ways Busy Moms Can Prepare for Kindergarten

Tomorrow, my kid hits another milestone - kindergarten! I've had such a hard time with this transition after my mother passed away this summer, because SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO HELP ME.

I know that she is with us during this process and we think of her everyday, but it is still a very lonely process. So, I had to organize everything with the help of the internet! We ordered the back pack (that will last us for years to come), the Bento Box, kindergarten friendly fashion products, and parent school supplies (because we need them too).

The North Face Look - After visiting Canada at the beginning of the summer, I purchased a North Face backpack from the new kindergartener! It was incredibly expensive, but we will continue to use it until her second grade year. I hope!

Lunchtime Toddler Style - We also purchased a Boon Bento Box lunch kit. It had everything that I wanted at a fraction of the bento box price. Usually, you have to purchase the bento box, the lunch kit, and the individual containers, but this bento box has everything you need AND it functions as a lunch kit!

We also had to purchase lunch items for our bento box, plastic bags, and several individually packaged items. Now, I plan to incorporate reusable bags as well!

Kindergarten Fashion - I had to plan a funeral and handle various forms of my "new life" (life after my mom passed) and I did not have a chance to shop. So, I decided to browse and purchase items from Amazon and Ebay to build my kindergartener's new wardrobe. More to come about this!

Don't Forget Your Parent Gear Too! - Parents need accessories for signing documents and documenting memories! This is YOUR kit! Get your Weekends Count Parent Supply Kit. No, just kidding, it is Writing Essentials Kit from Sharpie, Papermate, Expo, but it is extremely inexpensive and helpful!

Have a great school year!

About Weekends Count - Weekends Count is a Millennial Family Travel, Fun, Food and Activities blog based in the Dallas-Fort Worth area in Texas. We review hotels, travel and household items, and millennial family experiences!

Authors - Jennifer and Tony Edwards

Here's a link to our press kit/media kit - http://www.weekendscount.com/p/our-media-kit.html

Mailing Address: 1030 East Highway 377 Suite 110; Box #145; Granbury TX 76048
Phone Number - 817-382-8475

Send us an Email! We are PR friendly! - weekendscount@gmail.comweekendscount@gmail.com
Watch Our Videos on YouTube! - http://www.youtube.com/weekendscount/
Become a fan of Facebook! - http://www.facebook.com/weekendscount/
Follow Us on Twitter - http://www.twitter.com/weekendscount/
Look for Us on Instagram - http://www.instagram.com/weekendscount/
Discover the Weekends Count Blog - http://www.weekendscount.com

7 Reasons Why Your Child Needs a GPS Tracking Device - Travel, Shopping, and Safety

Child safety is our number one priority when shopping or traveling. Whether your travels involve driving in a car or riding on an airplane, you definitely want to keep your child safe - no matter the cost. Recently, we received the Circo Smart Tracking device (GPS - Global Positioning System) from the Athentek company to test with our child.

The Circo Smart Tracking device enables users to easily create safe zones, receive alerts when they enter safe zones or leave a safe zone. track their children via a simple app, experience long battery life, and track individuals indoors and outdoors.

This post contains affiliate links to help you build your shopping list and travel list for your family. We are passionate about the product and the experiences listed in this post, but we also wanted to provide easy links you can click to purchase products for your busy lifestyle.

To protect your children on the way to school, on field trips, at summer camp, at a friend's house, during sleepovers, or at amusement parks theme parks, outdoor festivals, during emergencies, on vacation, at the library, during an outdoor festival, you must consider purchasing a GPS tracker for your child.

Find out more about the Circo Smart Tracking device by clicking here - http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MAUR2Q2

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10 Reasons to Shop the Just Between Friends Sale in Fort Worth, TX

When I enter my child's room each morning, I experience a genuine moment of panic. What will she wear to daycare this morning? She is in the frilly, pink, pretty princess stage and I struggle with the daily phrase, "Mommy - I do not want to wear this, I want to wear my princess dress".
Well, this mom is completely out of frilly, pink, pretty princess dresses because we are in need of a larger dress size for my little one. Perhaps, I should select clothing that is more durable for the daily spills and toddler-friendly, but sometimes I just like to make my little one's day.

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